Leadership insights may come from surprising places. After watching the movie The Changeling I was checking out the bonus features on the DVD. John Malkovich, who played the social activist Presbyterian minister, complimented Clint Eastwood's directing. He said, "[Clint] doesn't give you his panic and his pressure. A leader has to sort of keep that to themselves and find a way to help you keep your eye on the prize." Wow. Right on!
Family systems theory reveals that anxiety in any social system can effectively block progress. As a church journeys through transformation conflict increases, and along with it anxiety. It's not unusual for the pastor to unnecessarily increase tension in the body by processing his/her own anxious thoughts among the church members. In this way the pastor unwittingly acts as an anxiety accelerator. This increase in anxiety can manifest itself in strange ways. Often they are subversive. For example, the pastor may take the lead in a new initiative, which in itself may be benign. But the push back from some is so intense that the pastor will wonder, "Where did that come from?" The pastor will have little idea that he or she helped set the stage for it.
Conflict in the church is a normal part of transformation. It should be expected. In fact, an absence of conflict is a certain indicator of little forward movement. So, how should a pastor and the leaders process their anxious feelings which are a normal part of leading change?
Certainly not among the general church members! This is the first rule. Learn to bite your tongue. Externalizing one's pain without discretion is a mistake many pastors make to their regret.
Self-discipline is required to process anxiety in a safe place. This leads to the second rule. Pastors must select carefully with whom they will process their pain. A trustworthy covenantal group of ministerial colleagues is one best place. This is one of the primary functions of the Leadership Learning Communities (LLC). Not only can the LLC listen and empathize and pray, the group can coach the pastor to take appropriate responsive action.
A third rule is to increasingly pour out one's worries and anxieties to God in prayer. This is one of the good things that can come from conflict as the tension reinforces motivation for pursuing spiritual disciplines. Personally, I am more consistent in prayer, meditation and scripture memorization when I am dealing with conflict. I recommend applying what Paul commanded, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:6-7)
And, fourthly, follow the example of Clint Eastwood (I never imagined I would be giving this advice) and become a non-anxious presence for the congregation. Concentrate on avoiding defensive reactions. Lead by continually refocusing the church on its God-given mission of reaching the world for Christ. These steps will help reduce tension in the system, providing a more conducive environment for discernment and forward movement.
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5 comments:
I am so glad to hear that I can follow the wisdom of a proven leader: Clint Eastwood!! That makes my day! I feel lucky! It turns me every which way but loose! I feel like a million dollars, baby!
Great post, Charles, and great advice. Sharing our anxiety only makes everyone else nervous. Prayer does wonders. Keep it up!
Thanks, Bill. Sometimes leading a church, with all the good, bad & ugly, makes you just want to become a high plains drifter even it means leaving town with only a fistful of dollars and becoming a man with no name. Hah!
Hi Charles. Good stuff.
One of the books that really helped me in this area was "Becoming a Healthier Pastor" by Richardson (Augsburg).
Being a non-anxious presence is key to leading. I think some people misinterpret this to mean avoioding difficult situations. But truly it means as you said, dealing with the inevitable conflict of transformation, but emotionally and spiritually managing your anxiety.
A great book to give to congregants who involve their "family stuff" and it's anxiety into church matters is "Family Ties that Bind" also by Richardson.
Corey, Thanks. Yes, as you know there are several books that explain family systems theory. Some are written by Christians who then apply insights to the church as a macro family of sorts. The seminal work, Generation to Generation, is one of the best, although not written by a Christ follower.
Dirty Harry may have felt Unforgiven after he Escaped from Alcatraz which would have caused Harry much anxiety, especially when he served as chair of the Deacon Board at Anytown Baptist Church. Anxiously, I wanted to weigh in before all his movie titles were gone. What a great reminder from Philippians. Thanks Charles, that was a great reminder. As the church grows and the economy slows, so do the number of people needs which creates greater anxiety for this pastor. God has worked mightily through this word today.
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